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Girl Scouts of River Bluffs Council December 2007 - January 2008 Notes to Leaders |
The Conflict Resolution Process
Conflict Partnership is a process that empowers people to build mutually beneficial relationships and to resolve conflict effectively. Try following its eight steps:
Create an Effective Atmosphere
Clarify Perceptions
Focus on Individual and Shared Needs
Build Shared Positive Power
Look to the Future, then Learn from the Past
Generate Options
Develop "Doables"
Make Mutual Benefit Agreements
The "partnership process" is based on the following five principles. Keep them in mind whenever you are involved in a conflict:
Think "we," rather than "I versus you" - working together helps solve conflicts.
Try to keep in mind the long term relationship.
Good conflict resolution will improve the relationship.
Good conflict resolution benefits both parties.
Conflict resolution
The Eight Steps
Step 1 - Create an Effective Atmosphere
Personal preparation — doing all you can to ready yourself in positive ways to approach issues honestly and openely.
Timing — choosing a time that is best for all parties involved. A time in which no one is feeling pressed to move on or pressured in other ways.
Location — where you meet is as important as when you meet. It is best to pick a place where all parties can feel comfortable and at ease.
Opening statements — try to start out on a good note. Good openings are ones that let others know you are ready and willing to approach conflict with a team-like attitude that focuses on positive ends. They should also ensure the trust and confidentiality of the parties involved.
Step 2 -
Clarify Perceptions
Clarify individual perceptions involved in the conflict. You can’t solve a
problem if you don’t know what it is about.
Sort the parts of the conflict - ask what it is about.
Avoid ghost conflicts — get
to the heart of the matter and avoid side issues.
Clarify what, if any, values are involved.
Recognize that the parties involved need each other to be most effective.
Additionally, clarify your perceptions of the other party.
Avoid stereotyping
Listen carefully
Recognize the other’s needs and values
Empathize - ask why they feel the way they do
Clear up misconceptions you may have of them
Step 3 - Focus on Individual and Shared Needs
Expand on shared needs. Realize that you need one another in order to successfully resolve conflicts. Be concerned about meeting others needs as well as your own. When you take the time to look, you will
recognize that individuals often share needs in common.
Step 4 - Build
Shared Positive Power
Power is made up of people’s outlooks, ideas, convictions, and actions. A
positive view of power enables people to be most effective. A negative outlook
on power proves disempowering. Instead of "power with," it encourages
"power over." Positive power promotes building together and strengthening
partnerships. When parties in conflict have this outlook, they can encourage
each other to use shared positive power. This gives an ultimate advantage to all
involved because each person’s positive energy is being drawn upon for a
worthwhile solution.
Step 5 - Look
to the Future, then Learn from the Past
Don’t dwell on negative past conflicts, or you won’t be able to deal positively
in the present or the future. Try to understand what happened in the past, and
avoid repeating the same mistakes over. Don’t get stuck in a rut; learn from
past conflicts and be forgiving. Let others know "I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at
what you did."
Step 6 - Generate Options
Beware of preconceived answers.
Look for common threads.
Make sure options are workable for all parties involved.
Set aside disagreements and focus on options that seem most workable.
Avoid spin-off conflicts by bypassing options that won’t work for all involved.
In Generating Options:
Ask first for the conflict partner’s options — listen and learn.
Try free-flowing options:
o make new suggestions
o write them down
o wait to discuss them till
they’re all out on the table
o group similar options together
o narrow down the list
o predict possible outcomes
o look at all ideas, no matter how silly they may seem
o Imagine
Identify Key Options; these are ones that will:
o meet one or more of the shared needs
o meet individual needs and are compatible with other’s needs
o use mutual positive power
o improve the relationship
o be at least acceptable but preferably satisfying to all involved
When looking at options, don’t let past experiences cloud present perceptions and decisions.
Step 7 - Develop "Doables" — Stepping-Stones to Action
Doables are specific actions that have a good chance at being successful. Doables are:
the ideas that have the best chance at success
steps that never promote unfair advantages on any sides
found on shared input and information from all parties
trust builders - they add confidence in working together
actions that meet shared needs
Step 8 - Make Mutual Benefit Agreements
Mutual-Benefit Agreements should give you lasting solutions to specific conflicts.
Instead of demands, focus on
developing agreements and find shared goals and needs.
Build on "Doable" things by working on the smaller stepping-stone solutions.
Pay attention to the needs of the other person in addition to your own interests.
Recognize the "givens" - basic things that cannot be altered or compromised.
Clarify exactly what is expected of you in the agreement - your individual responsibilities.
Keep the conflict partnership process going by using and sharing these skills with others.
This page last edited on Wednesday November 28, 2007.
December
2007- January 2008 Notes to Leaders
